Keith proposed to me in Niagara Falls on a bridge by the Skylon Tower on July 5th,2015 late at night and I managed to catch it on video unintentionally (we later had this video edited slightly and played at the beginning of our wedding). Keith continues to amaze me with his creative ways and to this day, this is still one of the greatest moments he has created for me. However, as wonderful as my proposal story was, the journey throughout our engagement was challenging in a number of ways. We’re married now so of course, the proof is in the pudding that we persevered BUT while we were going through it, we were going THROUGH it. Continue reading to learn more about some of what WE learned during this time.
1| Premarital Counselling is Non-Negotiable
For those of you who don’t know us personally, Keith and I started premarital counselling about three months prior to being engaged. This removed any form of expectation. There was no date set and no ring to be worn so we were able to do this knowing that at the end of our session, we may find that this was not for us. We were both committed to finding out is this thing called marriage was something we should be entering into together. It took us a good year to complete counselling. Some couples finish sooner than this but we took our time and we are better for it today.
2| Like Vs. Love
Some days it’s easier than others to like each other. One thing that we know for sure is that we love each other unconditionally. Keith and I are flawed human beings. It would be great to promise each other that we will never hurt one another but that is not realistic expectation. During our engagement there were times when we straight up did not like each other and unfortunately, it was evident in the way that we spoke and treated one another.
3| Change is Possible
Being as transparent as I am can sometimes be a double-edged sword. Since I wear my emotions on my sleeve, it is very obvious when I am happy and frankly, when I’m not. One of my weakest traits was having the ability to yell at the top of my lungs when I was super passionate about my stance in an argument with Keith. Somewhere along this engagement journey, I did a lot more yelling than I should’ve and like clockwork, Keith would shut down every single time. I had to learn the hard way that this was something that he would would never tolerate and it was either I shape up or ship out.
THE END RESULT
To make a long story short, Keith and I separated for approximately a month and a half because we kept finding ourselves in an ugly and toxic space far too often. This separation included giving back the ring he had proposed to me with and ending all forms of communication. How had something so beautiful reached this point? Insert several rounds of sighs here. Keith and I experienced a heartache together that we didn’t know was possible in something we thought was so beautiful.
Although the separation was temporary, it was heart-wrenching. When we decided to try again, we decided to really invite God’s presence to be in the midst. We made a conscious effort to do better because we realized that we didn’t want to do life without each other.
In March 2016, we found ourselves back in Niagara Falls and overlooking another beautiful view of the Falls, Keith asked me to continue in this engagement journey with him. I believe it was then that we decided we would marry on our anniversary date, July 5th,2016. Our view of how we wanted our day had changed drastically because now, we were looking forward to fool-proofing our marriage. We planned our wedding day with much intention but we were preparing our minds and hearts for what came after. We announced to everyone outside of our tribe by ways of our engagement photos – the best way I knew how.
Weddings can be beautiful but with the proper foundation, marriage is even better.
I’ve used up enough tissues for the day so that’s it from me until next week. Thank-you to our milestone photographer,Jessica Blaine Smith, for such an amazing engagement session. If you aren’t already following her on Instagram, go ahead and do so @jbsmith and the link to her website is in her bio.
Xx Yours Truly
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