The Impact of Children on our Marriage

big sister kissing her newborn sister
Charlotte adores her baby sister Chelsea.

Although the Hubster and I knew we wanted to have children, it was not our intention to have them soon after we had married. And yet, here we are three years of marriage later with a toddler and infant. I don’t recall us ever really sitting down and being overly strategic in how we would go about our parenting skills. Simply put, we were and we still are winging it – intentionally, of course. Our girls are our pride and joy and they have had an immense impact on our marriage in the most mind-blowing ways. I’ve highlighted the three reoccurring themes for us so keep reading !


Without intention at the forefront of our minds, all I know is that we would not be able to thrive in the way that we should. It is so much easier to do what feels right but we realistically, we cannot always follow our feelings. Similarly to raising children, we have learned to also be intentional about our relationship between each other.

Mom and her newborn baby girl
Mom and the newest addition to the family.


Even before I became a mom, I was big on multi-tasking. Is it possible that I have managed to up the anti now that I have two children, two and under? I find that I am constantly doing something and it is rarely for myself. There is no way that I can expect my marriage to thrive if all I do is pour into our children or my husband. If I do not check in with myself regularly, then nobody wins. What I would like to challenge myself to do more of is scheduling time for myself. After all, one cannot pour from an empty cup.

Daddy and his first-born daughter
Daddy & daughter moments.


Communication will always be on ongoing topic between us. The way that we have communicated has changed over the short three years of marriage. I would like to think that we are only getting better and better at it. We do not want our children to grow up seeing us argue with no resolve in sight. Our passionate discussions, if you will, don’t look quite the same as they did before and for us, that’s a sign of growth. We have to keep talking if we want to always ensure that we are on the same page.

Mom and her two daughters
Mom and her mini-queens.

For real, for real, this journey is a beautiful one but it is not for those who refuse to be intentional. We acknowledge that God has given us to each other and we have to be more mindful of how we go about ensuring that our marriage is as fool-proof as possible. With that being said, cheers to regular date nights starting next month!

Xx See you all next week!

An attempt at a family photo
An attempt at a photo as a new family of four.

Photography by the talented Halima Jama.


PS: Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram @hersocialgrooveandbaby to see snippets of our almost daily shenanigans & @herhairischarlotte for Charlotte’s Hair Journey

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